shakespeare's beard

i had my hair redone tonight. once again, again and again since i was about 13. highlights, temporary, ''for 4-6 weeks'' and finally permanent. first time, second, sixth, once a month. now that i think of it, it sounds crazy.
now i know people who have never seen me with my natural hair. i have friends who forgot that i didn't have bright ginger hair from birth. even my mum thinks i look weird without my orange shaggy head. to be honest that's probably the most mental think, looking from a far, even i feel incomplete without it. now even i have troubles with imagining myself with my natural hair. i don't really have many photos and it just looks weird that way. did you see me with natural hair? i feel that maybe once or twice but it was so long ago...

the same thing is with curling. naturally i have this part straight part curly, wavy hair type that probably most of us has. but i love it super curly. and i'm lazy so i got it done at a salon, like permanently until it grows back. i got so used to it i can't even remember styling my hair the other way. like when was the last time i washed my hair actually in the shower and blow-dried it? it must have been almost 4 years ago.

[well maybe i'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea]

my question now it why the heck? why i spend my pressssiousss time and money on another dye and a few hours at hairdressers?

because i create myself.
and i want to look nice, for myself mostly but if somebody sees me and they think i look nice, it's always nice, nice....
but why? why don't we just lower our standards, even towards ourselves, and stop obsessing over looks.
but you do feel better with nicely done hair, going through the street, or even sitting alone in your room (story of my life).
i think that everybody does all that beauty stuff for different reasons.

for my purposes i can tell you why i do that.
as i said before, i create myself. and i really don't like how my hair looks naturally, so i hide it when i can.

but this brings up so many more questions.
but i will tackle this and the makeup issue in the next post.

for now,

love,

qofr

p.s. i think this might be the first post in the ''opinions'' series i told you about like weeks ago. i know, reflex is useful.